1. Begin clapping before the Leader enters.
Late applause will be noted as hesitation.
2. Clap with both hands. One-handed clapping
is a philosophical position, and therefore suspicious.
3. Do not clap louder than the person beside you.
Ambition is a disease of the wrist.
4. Do not clap softer than the person beside you.
He is also watching your wrist.
5. If the Leader smiles, clap faster.
If the Leader frowns, clap with concern.
If the Leader sneezes, clap for his health.
6. You may weep. Weeping is encouraged.
Bring an onion if your heart is slow.
7. Do not be the first to stop.
Do not be the first to stop.
Do not be the first to stop.
8. When your palms bleed, think of the nation.
The nation also bleeds, quietly, and keeps clapping.
9. After the speech, tell your family it was historic.
Do not tell them what it was about.
No one knows what it was about.
10. At night, in bed, if your hands begin to move on their own,
do not be alarmed. This is called loyalty.
It will pass when you do.
